Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Don't Read This If You Really Like Valentine's Day

My brother sent me this list of sayings for Valentine's Cards that Hallmark won't use for some reason. Enjoy.

~If love were a flavor of ice cream, it would be Mint Chocolate Chip because I love that flavor.

~I used to think that love was something I could feel only once in a lifetime. And then I met your sister.

~Love is like applesauce--it's mushy and makes me want to poop.

~Two lovers in love are better than three lovers in a love triangle, because two is less than three, and too much love can give you gas.

~Roses are red, violets are blue, yada yada yada here's a card.

~If Chuck Norris were your boyfriend, he probably would have gotten you more than this crappy card.

~The Beatles once philosophized that all you need is love. I would argue that you need food, water, and shelter, too.

~If my love for you were a television show, I would definitely TiVo it every week.

~I would really like to vocalize my feelings for you, but I'm a wuss, so this card does it for me.

~Did you ever think when we met that we would be as happy as we are now? I know I didn't.

~Love is like a fine wine--it gets better with age and can stain the rug.

~Someone once asked me to compare love to a flower. I thought that was stupid.

~If I could think of a song that would describe my love for you, I think I would choose something by Dido...maybe that duet she did with Eminem...that had a good beat.

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